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Saturday, October 31, 2009
Singapore and The Gum Thing
Anyone who knows me will tell you one thing about me: I hate when people chew gum. Specifically, I despise when mouths chaw, gnarl and mangle objects. A combination of this with bubblesnapping is enough to push me to the boundaries of sanity. It's a problem.
I decided to pitstop in Singapore because it is still the only place that gum is unlawful. This was my Holy Land. This was my Jesus Christ.
Gum 101: The horrors of gumchewing began with the Greeks and Aztecs, who chewed on tree resin as a way to pass the time between playing Stratego with civilization. But things really didn't get cooking until a formula was patented in 1869, finding its way into the first gumball machines two years later. William Wrigley souped up the recipe with mint extracts in 1914, if only to drive me insane ninety years later. Frank Fleer was the real gum guru, creating Blibber-Blabber in 1906 (the first bubble gum).
Fortunately for me, there is Singapore. Gum was banned in 1992, after vandals began sticking it on the sensors of the prized Mass Rapid Transit. Here's the best part: Nobody missed it. No black market ever developed, even though offenders were only "named and shamed" if caught - which is not even a slap on the wrist by Singapore standards. Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yen commented at the time, "If you can't think because you can't chew, try a banana." Dude psyches me up when he talks all tough about gum law (but not much else).
The resurfacing of legal gum in Singapore is an excellent example of just how bizarre and corrupt America can be. In 1999, desperate to open bilateral trade with Bush's USA, the government agreed to two things. The first was public support for the war in Iraq. The second was repealing the gum ban. That's quite a dicksucking for trade negotiation.
How did they end up swallowing? Only Americans will fully understand, for we are a special people. The year before, Wrigley's had hired a lobbyist and leaned on an Illinois congressman to put gum on the Bush Agenda. Only the devil knows what was traded in making this a sticky issue for Singapore, who picked up a 150 million dollar tax break per year on their end of the deal.
The government in Singapore found a crafty way to save face. Some gum has medicinal purpose, even if is to help build enamel or fight cavities. Therefore, they made gum an item that must be handed out by pharmacists, only after taking down the names of customers for a national record. Any importing of gum is still illegal. There is something perversely exciting to me about this. I could buy a parrot at 4:30am in Manhattan but a person in Singapore must ask a pharmacist for a stick of Hubba Bubba.
For five days I have not seen a single person chew gum. No whorish women snapping their cud. No athletes mouthing the sticky substance like it was their junior prom date. I have had beautiful, thoughtful moments without the presence of my nemesis. And nobody - not even the spoiled tourists - seems to miss it.
I propose a gumfree world. If I had a billion dollars I would buy lobbyists and make it a priority. Until then, I will have Singapore.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
5 Fast Foods That Should Never Have Been
This is my favorite thing Kate's ever written, probably because I am fascinated by fast food. Her description of the McRib is quite tasty.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Twenty 80's Rockers Twenty Years Later
I was hunting around Flickr the other night for some of my favorites from the 80's, then realized it would make a pretty neat piece.
Behold.Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Some Wierd Sin: The Remains Of Where Iggy Pop and David Bowie Made "Lust For Life"
Hansa Studios, Berlin, Germany. Studio 3. Oct 21, 2009. The studio is being demolished and rebuilt with all new equipment and a more modern feel. The copper in the walls was actually used to block out radio transmissions from the military folks just over yonder at The Berlin Wall.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Have A Coke and A Frown
Did anyone else see Coke's new travel-the-world contest? Here's my take. The main point:"We’ve got a planet currently held together by duct tape – is now the time to spend a year running around it like Smurfette, giving kisses to whoever will have them? Or is it the year to expose world poverty, build houses for the homeless, and get together with the world’s thinkers? How exactly are you going to make a person with no water smile? Oh right, you’ll hand them a Coke."
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Strangest Picture From A Museum I've Ever Seen, Let Alone Taken
Next week on Tripwolf I'll reveal where it's from. And that's the tip of the iceberg, picture wise.
Monday, October 19, 2009
I'm Digging This Mix That Dahveed Posted
Atlas Sound micromix...10 Tracks. Really varied.
http://matadornights.com/musicmonday-micromix-by-atlas-sound/
http://matadornights.com/musicmonday-micromix-by-atlas-sound/
My Tale Of Woe From London's Heathrow (It Rhymed)
I just posted a piece today about my trip through immigration at Heathrow, which ended up with me in their jail and a flight back to the USA.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Incredible Photos From Royal De Luxe's Giant Walk In Berlin
I just posted a photo essay on Matador about the Giant's who walked around Berlin all weekend. If you haven't seen what Royal De Luxe is all about, you should definitely check it out: http://matadornights.com/royal-de-luxe-giants/
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
"One day I come home to find you covered with ants 'cause you're so sweet"
Life's A Dream by Built To Spill
Download now or listen on posterous
05 Life's A Dream.mp3 (8819 KB) Download now or listen on posterous
Built To Spill: I couldn't be in love with There Is No Enemy any more than I am. The Bill Hicks reference in "Planting Seeds" got me right away. Lyrics are back in tip-top shape. "Life's a Dream" is a great example of what a great job he's capable of in summing up the world. We all have the same problems.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Drooling Over Chilean Hot Dogs
Sad, but true. I ate my share of Completos in Chile and this article reminded me of all the tasty stuff they have in that country. I'm not fat I'm a foodie (TM?).
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Photos of Royal De Luxe's Giantess (and Onlookers), Berlin 10/3/09
Some pictures from today's meeting of the two Giants in berlin. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check this out. This is the Little Giantess, who is still sleeping. Soon she'll wake, put on a raincoat and walk down the street to meet her friend. Downtown was an absolute madhouse today because it's German Unity Day. Hopefully tomorrow will be more chill!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Great Photo Essay From Buenos Aires
My Matador Nights Co-Editor did a great job in Buenos Aires. This dog picture cracks me up. For more: http://matadortrips.com/photo-essay-buenos-aires-by-night/
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Rob Halford Of Judas Priest Immortalized In Statue Form
You'll pass this as your walk through Friederichshain in Berlin. It's a gigantic, screaming tribute to Rob Halford. How metal!
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